Walking across the campus of BYUI is almost always entertaining.  On our usually rushed walks across campus we often bump into people we know.  Those interactions add to the value of our day and reinforce friendships.  What would these walks be like if we didn’t know anyone?  It will mostly stay positive, but only if we still make eye contact with others, smile and nod.  But more often then not, people will not make eye contact.  Some seem to intentionally avoid it, as if some devastating event would take place.  Their body language tells us that they would rather look and feel awkward then to make any type of social interaction with someone they don’t know.

The social expectation of being friendly to everyone or the possibility of exchanging words with a peer may feel to heavy or strange.  Some may feel there is a risk of rejection from peers when making eye contact and not getting the response they expected.  The short and sweet of it is, it causes social stress for many.  The common trend that seems to be rising is wearing headphone to mask this awkwardness.  Ultimately it is to avoid or lessen some of this social stress.

From my experience, observing, and talking with others that wear headphones when walking across campus I’ve learned that headphones attached to the ears very effective in helping eliminate social interaction.  Many times I have passed by a friend with headphones on while yelling their name with no response.  Sometimes the friend will see you and give a short “Hey” or a nod, but feels no commitment to say more or stop to mingle, because they have music to worry about.  Sure, once in a while music can be helpful in improving some of our daily tasks.  In this case of walking to and from classes, it seems like music is used to avoid responsibility.  The responsibility of being a good friend or a positive peer, to interact and enhance our learning experience at this university.

I’m not saying we should say hi to every person and sometimes we have a bad day, but being open to interact with peers around us will open doors to learning and positive influence.  Every person needs positive reinforcement in their lives, why would we intentionally withhold that from others?

How a suit complements the mustache

My first attempt to grow a full mustache was much more difficult socially than it was physically.  It took a lot of self empowerment and determination to stand strong during the initial growing stages.  Once I convinced myself that by me growing a mustache was to break many stereo types of young men with mustaches nothing would stop me.  I considered the negative and positive impact this would have on people around me and myself I proceeded to grow my first mustache.
When I asked the ladies that I would come across what they think of men with mustaches, I only got negative feedback.  Almost every lady I talked to advised against me growing one.  The men on the other hand almost always encouraged it, as if I would be living one of their life’s dreams.  I, in return, encouraged many other guys to grow a mustache at the same time.  I quickly noticed that others had similar reservations about growing one as well.  So I proceeded to grow a standard cookie duster mustache.  During the first week or 2 the mustache usually looks just plain disgusting.  I will admit that.  After a week of growing it I was able to convince 6-7 others to grow theirs out.  Strength in numbers right?  Matt Montoya was one of them.  His mustache was unmatched.  It came in sleek and dark, real suave like.

Matt Montoya and his Stache

The rest of us somewhat idolized its presence.  Sometimes we would just stand there and stare.  Our diverse types of mustaches became a dominant topic of conversation amongst friends.  We laughed and rejoiced in the obscure responses we began to receive from our peers and family.

I learned that when people meet you while you have a mustache they are hesitant to get to know you, but once the ice is broken they treat you just the same as another friend if not better.  Yes, guys can still pick up on girls when a mustache is attached to your upper lip.  My friend Matt proved this right when he started to date exclusively with a girl he had met before he had the mustache, but made the real moves using the mustache.  The amount of confidence to have a mustache well trimmed and taken care of is a similar confidence women respect in a man that groomed and clean shaven.

After it was all said and done, growing a mustache when it was not socially accepted was a growing experience.  Not only was I able to see the depth or shallowness of peers, but I was able to create stronger character that was not confined by social expectations.  When it came time to shave my first mustache, I realized how attached I was to what it stood for and how bad it hurts when your shave it off without trimming it down first.